How do you cancel a flight meant to surprise your mom when she dies the day before?
How do you plan a memorial?
How do you write a eulogy?
How do you celebrate holidays without a mother?
How do you pretend to not be affected when you’re around your father?
How do you donate/throw away/burn almost all your mothers clothes, belongings and papers in a month so that your dad doesn’t have to worry about it?
How do you remember to eat?
How do you remember to remind your father to eat?
How do you smile in pictures when your dad asks you to take pictures with him before you leave so you remember him?
How are you supposed to start work again when you’re a state away and your dads only request is that he doesn’t want to live alone?
How do you prepare to take care of your dad in a year?
How do you take care of yourself when you were never very good at doing that in the first place?
9 out of the 12 I’ve tackled, just don’t ask me how as I’m on my way back to my California studio apartment….Grieving is still on hold. All I know is that I’m so tired.
My Lifestate 